Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Venus Writes:
Lynyrd, in honor of Jay Sebring's birthday today (October 10), I'm going to do a few threads related to him.  Here's one about my visit to his grave a few years ago.

A few years ago, a friend and I decided to travel to Detroit to pay our respects to Jay. 
We went around the time of his birthday, but not on the actual day.  We drove 6 hours to get there.  The weird thing was that we couldn't find the street the cemetery was located on, we could find surrounding streets, but kept missing that one. 
Finally, after driving back and forth and up and down the area, we saw the sign for the cemetery.  This is the view as we drove past it.
    Then, you drive over this lovely lake on the cemetery grounds.
As you can see, the cemetery is full of trees.  We heard lots of birds in them and there were also lots of geese walking around.
It wasn't very easy to find the section his grave was in.  The area was quite large so we split up to find it.  We didn't want to ask where it was because who knows how a worker would react?  "Oh no, more of those nuts!"  So, we looked on our own. 
We were close enough that we could talk but far enough apart that we could look at several graves.  It was fall so there were lots of leaves all over the place.  They covered the graves so we had to look carefully.  Neither of us found his.  We met and decided to keep looking before we asked for assistance. 
For some reason, something told me to look where she'd been.  As I started walking there, she said, "I've already looked there."  I said, "I know...." but kept going.  After a while, the whole situation started to seem a bit funny (not in a haha way) so I stopped. 
I said (out loud), "Ok, Jay, we didn't come this far only to play hide and seek with you, where are you?" and, seriously, I felt this rustling by my right ankle (not scary).  I looked and these leaves were blowing around my foot (which was on a marker but I didn't realize it)  As I was wondering why these leaves were blowing (it wasn't windy) I noticed that letters were being uncovered, they said "SON" and I  was just stunned!  I couldn't even say anything but I got her attention and she came running and, as we were watching, other letters started showing up.  It was Jay's grave marker that I'd been standing on.  We looked at each other in shock and she said, "I guess he wanted you to find him." 
I wish we'd taken photos as the leaves were blowing, but we didn't.  Here are a few photos of his marker with the arrangement that we brought to pay our respects.

We stayed for a while to say a prayer.  It was a very moving experience and made me cry.  No matterhow much you know that these were real people, you don't fully realize it until you're standing by a grave.  We talked about how much his loved ones must miss him.
I've never been back, but plan to return.  I rarely hear from the person I went with.  I took some photos too, but have never uploaded them.  One of my photos has this weird image on it.  She said that it's ghostly.  Maybe.  I have no idea.
All I can say is that if you have a chance to pay your respects, please do so.  I'd definitely visit Jay's grave again.  If someone is ever in the area, let me know.
I hope you enjoyed my story and the photos.
Rest in peace, Jay.
Here's a close-up of his grave marker and the note my friend left.
(I don't remember what she wrote, unfortunately)
A view showing the supposed ghostly… image swirl in left corner, Jay's grave is where the red flowers are--sort of in the center, he's buried under that large tree in the center.


LynyrdSkynyrdBand said...

Thank You SO much Venus, for sharing your wonderful and touching story with us.

Your flower arrangement and photos are simply gorgeous… such a wonderful tribute.

This is certainly one of the best threads on our blog.

I worked for hours, to get everything presented just perfect for you, and labeled exactly the way you wanted it… I hope I did you justice.
I even used pink print for the watermark. : )

I promised you, your photos would be on the blog for Jay’s birthday (October 10)… and I made it, with 30 minutes to spare.
Whew! It almost killed me (ask Katie), but I made it! LOL!
A promise, is a promise!

Thanks Again Venus, this is GREAT.
You ROCK!!!

LynyrdSkynyrdBand said...

I encourage everyone to view the photos full size.
They're really great.

Five of the photos are PNG files... and the other 6, are JPEG files... so, they don't all open in the viewer, at the same time.
They open in two batches.
(If I had known it worked that way... I would have converted them all to JPEG).

All the photos are viewable full-size... but, you have to go back to the thread, and click some of them, individually.

Just keep clicking on photos... you'll eventually get to the one you want to view full-size to work. LOL!

If I start finagling with this further... I'll fall behind the deadline. LOL

katie8753 said...

Venus thanks for sharing this beautiful experience you had.

Happy Birthday Jay! :)

Kimchi said...

Thank you Venus, very heartwarming ...

leary7 said...

Is it in bad taste or verbotten to ask for a bit of context with regards to Venus? This is quite an effort on her (his?) part. I have a sense that Venus is one of the more connected and astute folk on this blog. Am I right, Lynyrd?

LynyrdSkynyrdBand said...

Hi Leary,

Venus is female, and she's probably the most well-versed person I've ever met on the blogs, in regards to Jay Sebring and Sharon Tate specifically.
The information Venus has shared with me (in regards to Jay and Sharon) is simply incredible... in both volume and detail.
I always call her "my Jay and Sharon expert".

I've never asked Venus directly, where her knowledge and interest stems from.
I'll leave the rest up to Venus, if she cares to elaborate.

Muirmaiden said...

Venus, thank you so much for sharing! You and I know each other quite well and you know that I completely believe that Jay wanted you to find his resting place. It was so uncanny, but in a comforting way, the way you found his marker. I really wish I could visit his resting place, but those photos you shared will suffice for now.

Happy Heavenly Birthday, Jay!

CarolMR said...

Thank you, Venus, for the lovely pictures. I had forgotten that today is Jay's birthday. Hard to believe he would have been 79 had he lived. Is this Holy Sepulchre Cemetery?
Happy Birthday in Heaven, Jay, with the love of your life, Sharon.

starship said...

I'm a cemetery guy myself. So, I liked this story. Alot!

Venus said...

I'm glad everyone lioked this story and the photos. It was quite a moving experience, to say the least.

Yes, Muirmaiden, I do think he wanted me to find him. It was jsut so strange how my friend had already looked there and I ended up standing right on the corner of his marker. Someday, maybe you and I can go there.

The first pic was at the entrance to Holy Sepulchre Cemetery. I couldn't believe how lovely and peaceful the cemetery was.

Venus said...

To Leary and anyone else who's expressed curiosity as to my knowledge. To sum it up in a nutshell (I could go on for hours, seriously!) Several years ago, I had some show business contacts who were kind enough to share some info with me. Everyone has knowledge of Sharon, but it's harder to find info on Jay. A well-known Hollywood person (who shall remain nameless per their request) said he was a wonderful guy and a devoted friend.

Meanie Rhysie said...

Happy Birthday to Jay!

Thank you, Venus, for your time and efforts and sharing them with us. Holy Sepulchre is really beautiful. My aunt and uncle are buried there; I lived 45 of my almost 50 years in the metro Detroit area. It's still home. ;)
Re: your special interest in Jay: I think it's wonderful to present Jay as someone (your friend) knew him.

Venus said...

If you look at the 3rd from the bottom pic, notice the leaves in the upper left corner of the marker? That's where I was standing when they were blowing.

Venus said...

Reesespeace, you and I need to chat!!!!!

Yes, the cemetery is very lovely, I was quite impressed with it.

The Hollywood person was quite complimentary about Jay, it was nice to hear how his friends felt about him.

Meanie Rhysie said...

Venus said:
Reesespeace, you and I need to chat!!!!!

Girl, are you from the Big D?!?!?!? Omg, I'm horribly homesick today; I love NC, but there's nothing like *home* is there?

Venus said...

No, I'm from the midwest, about 6 hours from Detroit. I wonder how we can exchange e-mails? Oh, Lynyrd? How can we do that? Talk to you soon, RP, I have to get offline now.

Meanie Rhysie said...

Oh Lynyrd, yoooohoooo. You have my permission to give Venus my email, if you still have it, okay? Thank you. Venus, mark it so that I don't assume it's spam. Venus should do. lol
I am off to do something with this absolutely gorgeous day! Hope you all have a great day!! Peace out!

CarolMR said...

Venus, I certainly believe that Jay was a devoted friend. He remained devoted to Sharon even after she married someone else.
I'll always be mystified as to why no one has written a biography of Jay. He knew everyone in Hollywood, he was engaged to Sharon, he was one of the Cielo victims, etc. I always thought that if anyone would write that book it would have been Dominick Dunne, but that can't happen now. I don't even know the basics about Jay: What was his ethnicity? He looks part-Italian to me or maybe Hispanic. His nephew, Anthony DiMaria, is half-Italian, but on his father's side, not from the Kummer side, that I know of. I know he must have been Catholic because Holy Sepulchre is a Catholic cemetery. He was the first hairdresser who took men's hairstyling to a new level. He worked with many of Hollywood's most famous actors. He taught Sharon and Doris how to cut hair. I just think his very interesting life would make a very interesting biography. Venus, you could probably write a book about Jay!

Venus said...

I could write a book about him and have thought about it. He truly deserves to have one written about him.

Dominick Dunne also spoke very highly of Jay. Check out his book titled "The Way We Lived Then." (an excellent book)

katie8753 said...

Venus I wish we could go back in time and you could hook up with Jay and I could come visit you both at his gothic house that I'm dying to tour.

We could have our usual Dr. Pepper & popcorn with Jay. LOL.